12.18.2012

Leaving...

Well, this is it. I'm off to another country to speak another language and to have the best experience of my life.

While I'm gone, my mission updates (my emails, addresses, etc.) will be on my mission blog. Which is here, http://hermanaferrell.blogspot.com/

Much love, blogging world. I'll be back before you know it!

Adios ;) 

12.11.2012

Just Life

This post has 3 topics. Brace yourself.

1. I'm leaving in a week. It doesn't feel real. There are so many things I'm leaving behind me. Things that I know will be here when I get back. Things I know will be somewhere in my future. Things that will never  have a place in my life anymore. I can just feel that my whole life is about to really change. It's a little scary. I'm comfortable right now where I am and as dreamy as new adventures sound, it's hard to actually get on your way.

2. I hate small talk. Okay, I take that back. I don't always hate it. Sometimes it's how you become friends with people. But I hate it when you're in one of those "I want to have a deep talk and cut the crap" moods. I love this quote,

"I hate small talk because I feel like there's an elephant standing in the room and nobody is saying anything. I just want to say, 'Hey, do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?' or 'are you scared out of your mind to move forward in life?' or 'what are you very most afraid of and why?' But you can't say those things at a cocktail party."

Seriously though. Sometimes I just want to hear people's fears and worries and let them talk about the things they love and are passionate about. I want to talk about mine. I just want to talk. And not about stupid things. About the stuff that matters. I love it when I catch people at just the right moment to have a chat like that. But when I don't (or am just stuck in the library studying) I have to think those things through myself. Which is never as enjoyable. 

3. I adore The Phantom of the Opera. For real!! I've seen it performed a few times, but I have to say, the movie is bomb. I just LOVE that movie! I feel for the Phantom. So sad, but such a great story about how love is sometimes the only thing strong enough to change people. And the music! AMAZING. Christine is gorgeous. The song, Think of Me, is one of my very most favorite songs ever. The lyrics make me cry if I'm in the right mood. I'm not kidding. Today, it made me tear up when I was writing in my journal. Hahah, wowza. How dramatic does that sound? Eh, whatever. I'm a girl and I love a good love story. Also, the song Masquerade is another great one. Ah, this musical is the best. 


This Heart of Mine

I have no idea who reads this blog, but sorry for being repetitive. But here's why I blog: to get my feelings out. I can work things out and figure out how I feel. I can vent. I can think. I don't really write to keep an audience... maybe I should... but for now, I'm writing for me. And I'm really going to miss that on my mission. I guess my personal journal will have to take the place of this blog.

Looking back on my life, I've changed a lot this year. I've made a lot of mistakes. I've hurt people I love. I've been careless with the feelings of others. I've spoken without thinking. Stayed up too late and studied too little. Said some goodbyes I really didn't want to say. But... with all those flaws and mistakes of mine, I've had some really beautiful times as well. I've made absolutely incredible friends. I fell in love. I was so, so happy. I learned a lot about following your heart. I got my mission call. Lost a lot of weight. Became closer with my family. Cut my hair...

So here I am. A mixture of experiences that have left me decidedly and unalterably changed. 


12.07.2012

End of Work... for now!

I just love my job. Seriously, I work with some of the coolest people ever. I've had some incredible opportunities and learned so much. Lots of good talks and absolutely hilarious moments. So today Adam and Rebecca sang and played the uke for me today because it was last day of work! They did Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon Levitt's song called What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? Haha that way I can remember them on New Year's Eve! Seriously, so great. I'll miss this job A TON. But I guess I'm moving on to different things now. A very new type of work lies ahead of me!




11.14.2012

It Means No Worries

I'm unsure, I don't exactly know, I'm not completely over, I'm still learning, and I'm kind of worried. But you know what?

11.09.2012

Classic

I'm so excited to leave on December 19th. BUT that means I'm missing this:


Which comes out Christmas day.  I expect someone to write me and give me & give me ALL the details as soon as they see it. Because I love this story. Few other things have touched my heart as deeply as this book has. I'm currently on my 4th time re-reading this novel. Seriously, it's my very favorite book. I know it's unbelievably long, but that's also I reason I'm so in love with it. By the time you finish you feel as if you know intimately know the characters & feel completely in 19th century France. Whenever I finish Les Mis I end up aimlesly wandering around unsure of what to do with my life. But it's just an amazing story. Full of lessons about new beginnings, mercy, justice, change, love, misery, good-hearted people, down right evil ones, &, like it's title implies, misery. Time for some quotes!!  & I've just picked out some short ones (because trust me, Victor Hugo can be one long winded guy)


“Even the darkest night will end & the sun will rise.” 

“To love another person is to see the face of God.” 

“Laughter is sunshine, it chases winter from the human face.” 

“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” 

“Those who do not weep, do not see.” 

"If the soul is left in darkness sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but he who causes the darkness.” 

Diamonds are to be found only in the darkness of the earth, and truth in the darkness of the mind. ”

"For there are many great deeds done in the small struggles of life.”

"It is time for us all to decide who we are."


Okay I'll stop. Even though I could easily go on for pages & pages... Every time I read it I something new stands out to me & teaches me a new principles. I'm constantly having new experiences in life so different things speak to me at different times of life. That's the beauty of reading classic literature! It teaches truths that apply at all stages of life & you can learn & re-learn them over & over. While there's lots of brain candy books out there (I don't think I need to specify!) that are super fun to read, they're not books that you can come back to time & time again. You read that type of literature for the plot, not the principles. Those books don't change your life like classic literature does.

Here are some of my favorite classic books that have really changed me:

--Les Miserables by Victory Huge (obviously.)
--The Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens (I give my spiel on that here)
--Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
--The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandra Dumas
--The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
--Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
--The Odyssey by Homer
--Ben Hur by Lew Wallace
--The Robe by Lloyd Douglass
--The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne (contrary to the opinion of most AP Englishers)

Read those. Or put them on your list. They're books that will make everyone's lives better. I can say that because it's been true in my own. If you can't tell, I'm a reader. I'd rather have my nose in a book than doing most other things. I really love to read. Especially in my pre-college days when I actually had time to read a thousand page book! Because let's face it, high school was like a breezy summer day. College, on the other hand, is like the harshest Antartica winter. So... not as much time to read whatever I like.

Well, what I originally intended to tell you, is how anxious I am to see this movie. & now I'll just have to wait a few years to see it! Oh well, I guess that it will be waiting for me when I get home... At least I won't miss the Hobbit! 

11.08.2012

Do You Remember That?

Memories... the times of our past we never really seem to forget. Isn't it interesting, looking back, we remember certain moments so clearly? & in the midst of those moments of life we never knew that one day we'd look back with such emotion on those times. Those days seemed normal, average, & ordinary. Just days lived with people at places we loved & enjoyed at the time, but didn't realize they'd become so deeply etched into our future hearts. & that's the beauty of it. If we knew those moments would one day bear so much weight  it would be impossible to enjoy the here & now.

The passing of time does interesting things. It tends to put a golden light upon the lovely times & somehow seems to dull the darker ones. But still, certain things bring out those forgotten emotions pretty strong. Memories come flooding back to you & your past experience really doesn't seem past at all. You wish you were there again at that beautiful place looking at those awe inspiring buildings and art. Or feeling the strong acceptance & happiness you've felt with friends & family. Or re-living those days filled with stressful excitement & anxiety but ended up so absolutely great. But then something somehow reminds you that things are different &  to enjoy the stage of life where you are. So that later on you can look back with the same fondness about the things you're currently experiencing. 

Like you, I've had some really wonderful memories about my times wandering through love, adventure, college, friendships, family relationships, religion, continents, & cultures. Most things I like to remember. Other memories cause a little too much longing. While others have a very special place in my heart. Memories are a way of holding onto things you never want to lose & I guess that's what life is all about, is it not? Experiencing life & allowing the memories to make us a better person for it.